The Weekend from Hell
by Pam t3h Spam
Summary: A stupid little parody of normal horror-story plotlines involving throwing the DK cast into a mansion with a rake murderer for the weekend. ,,,Yes, RAKE. xD Random insanity and Kharl-sama stupidity.


The pen that furiously ate whitespace upon a tablet paused thoughtfully for a moment as its owner ruminated.  
  
"Who else, who else...ah yes, the Dragon Officers..." Once again the feathered pen stabbed down words, "...and hmmmm, yes, Nadil as well. Oh why not throw in his yôkai as well!" A soft giggle escaped from the small figure as she murmured to herself. "Oh yes, this will be so fun...but isn't revenge always?"  
  
*****  
  
"I can't BELIEVE you tried to sneak out...AGAIN!!!" Alfeegi glared at the cowering figure of the Dragon Lord before him, spluttering angrily as he groped for words. "Irresponsible-childish-COMPLETELY foolish-!" At that moment, a highly coincidental and well-placed envelope dropped by a highly coincidental and well-placed water light landed with a loud THONK at the base of Alfeegi's skull, knocking him unconscious and swirly-eyed to the ground.  
  
Lykouleon sighed with relief, placing a hand to his head to salute the water light. It waved cheerily, plucked a long green hair from the prone Dragon Officer's head, then zoomed off into the distance. The Dragon Lord bli~inked for a lo~ong moment, perplexed, then shrugged and opened the envelope.  
  
"To the Dragon Lord, Dragon Queen, Officers, Knights, and Fortuneteller..."  
  
*****  
  
"...and therefore, Evil Plan #329 has been set in action upon the Dragon Palace to..." Shademan's lengthly and dignified sentence was neatly sliced in two by a long string of "zZZZzzzzzzZZzzZZZ's", the two broken halves falling upon several unfortunate yôkai. He glared icily down the ranks of assembled demons, then continued.  
  
"...As I was SAYING, Evil Plan #320...23...no, 28...82? ...25...the CURRENT plan requires all yôkai to be HIGHLY ALERT," the yôkai audience waited while Shademan coughed pointedly for several seconds, "...and AWAKE, " a yôkai waltzed up and handed the white-haired demon a cough drop, "...at all times."  
  
"I think Shademan-sama is talking to YOU," Fedelta hissed, jabbing the snoring yôkai beside him.  
  
"Whuzzat?" Viaresu awoke, blinking sleepily. "Oh, another one of his Evil Plans. Wake me up when he's done." With that, he dropped his head to his chest again.  
  
A water light chose that moment to fly in, stick a fancy envelope in Viaresu's oh-so-fluffy and touchable hair, hug his head, and fly out again.  
  
"Damn faeries!" Viaresu growled, one hand flying to his hair as the other dug out hair spray, a comb, and a mirror from his handy-dandy BIG INVISIBLE POCKET. Fedelta seized the envelope, opened it, and scanned the contents quickly before jumping to his feet.  
  
"SHADEMAN-SAMAAAAAAA~!!!!" The fire yôkai flailed the envelope wildly as he ran, knocking some poor unfortunate little kawaii fluffy evil bunnies to their deaths off a highly coincidental and well-placed cliff. ((Take a deep breath now.)) "SHADEMAAAAAAN-SAMA THERE'S AN INVITATION FOR YOU AND NADIL-SAMA!!!" Fedelta shoved the envelope in Shademan's face, then beamed. "AND AN INVITATION FOR ME TOO!!"  
  
Shademan winced, stuck a finger in his ear, and sighed. "Fedelta, please refrain from screaming in my ear."  
  
"Yes, yes," Fedelta whispered in a barely-audible voice as the yôkai secretary read the contents of the envelope. "What does it say, Shademan- sama?"  
  
"You, I, Viaresu, Gil, Sharendora, and Nadil-sama are invited to a mansion for the weekend." Shademan handed the envelope back to Fedelta. "Deliver this to Nadil-sama. I'm sure he will be pleased."  
  
*****  
  
Kharl choked, gasped, and coughed, flailing and spraying lemon mousse tart crumbs over Garfakcy. The midget human blinked. "Is something wrong, Kharl-sama?"  
  
A choked reply, then the yôkai alchemist straightened and magically pulled an envelope in perfect condition from his mouth. "Oh, nothing, Garfakcy. There was simply something from your tarts stuck in my throat." Kharl reached for the teapot, handing the envelope to Right Bird, who placed a pair of crystal glasses on its beak and read it.  
  
Kharl munched thoughtfully as Right Bird squawked at him. "An invitation, you say?" The bird flapped. "At a mansion in the Misty Valley? Oh, we simply must attend." He grinned from ear to ear, then stuffed the last of the sweets into his mouth. "Come and pack, Garfakcy, we're leaving!"  
  
Garfakcy slowly shook his head as he cleared up the tea things and followed his master inside.  
  
*****  
  
"I dunno, sounds dodgy to me..." Rath mumbled quietly, careful to keep his voice down so Rune wouldn't hear. Unfortunately for the Fire Knight, Rune had brought along his handy-dandy extendable ear (copyright Harry Potter) and brought a five-ton boulder firmly down upon his fellow Knight's head.  
  
"Lord Lykouleon said it was fine, so we're doing it!" the elf screeched shrilly as he chastised the Rath pancake ((mmmm)). "And what's more..."  
  
"Oh look, we're here," Thats announced as the group consisting of the Dragon Lord, Queen, Officers, and Knights entered a clearing in the Misty Valley. They all trooped in the door of the huge mansion.  
  
Rath blinked, then did a double take and stared hard at the door. It was an innocent shade of pale blue, with tiny bunnies engraved around the edges. "I coulda sworn it said 'Mansion of DOOOOOOOM' a second ago..."  
  
Rune loomed forbiddingly behind him. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTHHHHH...it's just your imagination...ignore it..."  
  
"You mean ignore that huge long black streak that's just long enough to cover something that says 'Mansion of DOOOOOOOM' there on the front door?"  
  
"YES!" Rune snapped, then shoved Rath inside.  
  
The door snapped closed behind them with the click of a lock. And on the front of it...were the words...Mansion of DOOOOOOOM! [Insert evil laughter]  
  
w00t my first attempt at humor! _;; 


End file.
